Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Attack Of The Critters

[Belated Post]

To date my worst experience is a 2-D spider just a bit too close to my head as I entered a room with the lights off, but last night the wild things were out. It started at lunch when the three ants I saw at breakfast became dozens of ants at lunchtime. Make that dozens of ants in my lunch. Since I was not around to immediately devour the food, the ants made their way up a plate and into most of my fish and red sauce. I brushed away most of the ants and picked off the segments of fish that didn't appear to be touched. After the meal was over I took the can of Oro insecticide and gave the ants a bath. I also washed the table and the dishes to keep the little ones from returning to find anything.

Later in the evening I had visitors of the human variety and we had to duck the large moths flying around the living room. They aren't bad, but they are big and the thought of getting whacked in the temple by its moth-i-ness was an issue. They eventually got handled by the whirring ceiling fan blades and took a long nap on the floor. Only to be hauled off by hungry ants. These ants are different then my lunch ants which are tiny. The moth-eaters are the big black ones that you would rather not see when you are almost finished laying out your spread on the picnic blanket in summer.

After a few guests had left and one was being escorted through the kitchen to the back door I noticed something flutter past the doorway just inside the kitchen. I was not expecting the bat to be stuck in there and I have not a clue how it got in. I have heard what sounds to be a family of bats nesting above the hung ceiling though, so this one must have scurried down the wrong hole. My friend who was leaving is 12 years old, and he was eager to help me out with the bat problem. He ran into the kitchen and started taking swipes and swings at the flying mammal while I waited down the hallway, stressing that he should be just a touch careful about a rabid bat. Whether that was a concern or not I don't know, the boy knocked the thing down and planted his foot on top of it. Poor little bugger never had a chance. I almost felt bad for the bat, but I have no idea how one catches a flying bat without giving it a bad day.

Out went the carcass and off went the boy into the night. I went back inside and listened to the squeaks above my head. I wondered if they had done a headcount and figured they were a sister or brother down.

Off to bed I went to read the final pages of the current novel. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that something was moving over the bedsheets. Another giant black ant with some dead insect locked in its pincers. I was getting tired of this. I swiped him off but felt more sympathy after the bat killing in the kitchen, so after the ant landed and lost his meal, I carefully pushed that back in his path for him to find and carry off. There, I had done my good deed.

Later still, and with me on the bed reading, a much more 3-D spider went speeding past my eyes on the floor. This one was decently big. I had had enough of the bugs, bats, and arachnids. The flip-flop came out and I made sure to deliver the fastest death I could to it. WHOP! Its legs curled up and the house was down one spider. Finally, some peace and quiet. That was true until I got up to go turn the lights off and I saw a wee bit of motion by what I thought was the dead spider. A pang of guilt came by as I thought I had not given it the death blow and here it has been struggling to survive and oh the humanity and all that. A closer look: It was another dang ant trying to haul the dead spider away. I was so tired of this that I crushed them both but good and took it to the trash in the kitchen. Fortunately there were no bats flying around or I would have had a conniption of the worst sort.

I still like the bungalow, but I need to get acclimated to the housemates I suppose.


Lara said...

FYI coming from your friendly triage nurse. If you come into "possible" contact with a bat you should be seen d/t the possibility of rabies. You can't feel them bite. Just thought I'd share!!

Love reading your updates and seeing that you are well!


D.Boyer said...

Hehhe, the bat never came near me as I had to take charge of the situation by screaming like a girl-child and fleeing the kitchen. Being safe is my number one priority here ;OD

timmyt said...

David, I wouldn't worry about those bats. You always seemed "naturally" rabid.